Recently Michael just wants to be held and cuddled and nursed. It is so fun and sweet holding him and giving him love! I tell myself this too will pass and pretty soon he will be a smelly little boy who doesn't want to snuggle with his mom anymore. (okay...tearing up as I type this and getting angry at myself for ever wanting to put him down!) And I know you can't spoil a baby by holding it too much and actually being held is critical to it's emotional development, not to mention a whole ton of other things I just read up on in a google search. And of course they just want to be close to their favorite person ever...their mommy!! :o)
But as much as I love holding him, I can't do it constantly and it is a pretty intense need to fulfill when I also have a husband and a house to take care of. So today I decided to give my aching arms a rest and we took a long 3 hour driving excursion in the car to get out of the house for a bit.
It was bliss! We went to Sonic (mild moment of panic from M when he realized the car wasn't moving but fell asleep again as soon as I turned on some static radio and got moving) and then headed up to Ames so I could cancel my gym membership.
The gym guy tried to give me a huge guilt trip about canceling, but it just wasn't feasible anymore for me to be going to the gym in Ames. I am only at school two days a week and one of those days I am there late for my flute lesson so ideally I would only be going to the gym for one afternoon a week, which is not worth it financially. Not to mention I hate to have little M in daycare any longer than he needs to be!
So I canceled. I will have to be more resourceful in my exercise endeavors this winter. Maybe when things calm down in the future (like in 18 years) I can resume it. But for now, this will have to work.
We then headed back to the metro and we stopped for some ice cream in Johnston before heading home. It was nice to be out of the house and listen to some sports talk via the Murph and Andy show on the radio.
It is such a catch 22 though. I was thankful to have a break, but feeling guilty I wasn't holding my son. So as soon as I got home, I put him in my Moby wrap and now he is snoozing while I have two hands free. This is awesome! Reminder to self...use Moby warp more often. :o)
LOVE the velcro baby! :) I love reading blogs about moms! I can relate to the tearing up...ever since my first child was born 5 years ago...I am the biggest cray baby! I remember holding ANnie on her first birthday while she napped & I just held her tight & sobbed :)
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the dilema. Completely, on the one hand you just want a little bit of freedom, on the other hand you're completely berating yourself.
ReplyDeleteThere are days of each my dear and it sounds like you're managing them quite well!