My Rainbow Babies

Anna and Brynn are such a blessing to us. All babies are so, so special but Anna and Brynn seem extra special to me because they are my rainbow babies. 

In the online baby loss community (yes, there is such a sad, sad thing) rainbow babies are used to describe babies that are born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss of a child. The meaning, of course, stems from the rainbow that follows the clouds of a storm. And to add further meaning to the rainbow allusion we are reminded of the verses in Genesis where the rainbow demonstrates God's mercy to never destroy the Earth again with a flood. In a way, rainbow babies are God's way of demonstrating his mercy with us and are a powerful reminder that he is still good, always. 

Rainbows are good, no doubt, and are a powerful symbol. However, what about a double rainbow? 

Double rainbows are so special and awe inspiring (for reference, look up insane double rainbow guy on youtube) and they are very rare- I know I have only seen a few in my life. One happened on the way home from school, way back at the end of November in 2010 where a full double rainbow formed right over my house. I even drove under the actual rainbow on my way home- pretty amazing! Luckily, I took a pretty cool photo on my old school iphone and it has stuck in my memory ever since. 

Double rainbows are twice as good and are twice the reminder of God's mercy. Some also believe they are a symbol of transformation or that something great in your life has fallen into your lap. 

We feel like the luckiest people in the world to have our girls be our double rainbow. People ask all the time what it feels like to find out you are having twins and it is like winning the lottery. You feel so, so lucky. I feel like part of the reason we feel overwhelmed with blessings is that we were honestly 100% at peace with our family and the journey we've been on since Trace's death. I knew if we didn't have any more children, we would still have a nice family and a happy life. But as it turns out, God knows our hearts and had bigger plans in store for us. 

My aunt sent me a nice note that really touched my heart this week. She said that after Trace died everyone in my family was praying extra hard that we would have another baby. She said all the praying must have worked for us to have two babies! I feel the same way, twins are a beautiful gift that we feel so undeserving to receive. It just adds to the mystery of this world and the realization that there are so many things we will never know the answers to. I am so touched by everyone's prayers and overwhelmed by everyone's happiness for the girls' arrival. 

Anna Rose.

Brynn Elizabeth

I've been working on this post for a few days and publishing it today just happens to coordinate with Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day. A day doesn't go by that we don't think about our sweet Trace and that is especially true now that the girls are here. They remind us of the goodness of God's promises and they help heal our hearts even though they are forever scarred. It is hard to say that our lives would have taken this path if Trace hadn't died...we will never know. So for now we are taking the journey one day at a time. 

Please remember all the sweet babies today!