Happy December!
I have felt a little behind getting ready for Christmas this year...mostly I think it is a combination of feeling the time crunch between Christmas and Thanksgiving, working more hours at school basically more than I ever have in my career, and just feeling overwhelmed with how to make a holiday feel extra special for my little guy even though it is a hard season for me. I also had a stomach bug at the beginning of this week (which I worked through) that probably led to the energy drainage while ultimately led to a big Christmas related meltdown on Friday night. I was really embarrassed for myself and finally had a change of heart that Christmas doesn't have to be perfect...that I don't have to do every little thing like elf on a shelf or some complicated Advent calendar complete with daily activities and special treats....that I don't have to go overboard on Christmas presents or do a million service projects. Christmas isn't tomorrow...it is still weeks away....and it will be special no matter what. Michael sees the magic in it all no matter what---and he knows when his mommy is happy and is worried when she is not.
Soo...that is where I am at. After my meltdown/change of heart Friday night, we have had an absolutely fantastic weekend. I got the tree and decorating finished, I volunteered my time to play my flute at a festival that benefits needy kids and families in our school district, and we did lots of special things with Michael. Everything I was worried about getting done, I actually got done once I stopped being all up in my own head about it. Does anyone else struggle with this?
This morning we took some photos in front of the Christmas tree and went to see Santa after church. It has been snowing all day and it is absolutely beautiful out.
"yes santa, I've been reeeaaal good!"
That silly face, I will never get tired of it!
We went back to Valley West Mall for their Santa after having such a good time last year. We were not the first ones in line like we were last year but it moved quickly and gave Scott and I time to enjoy our Caribou Coffees from the new (yes!!) store in the mall. The rule at the Santa Place this year is that you can only take one photo, after the photographer has taken theirs. What a racket, huh? I'm happy mine turned out pretty good because that is pretty high pressure. Here's mine:
We thought the ones they took were pretty good so we bought all of them and got them on a USB key so we could print them ourselves. The photographer actually said Michael needed an agent because he was that good...I'm sure he tells everyone that. :o) I thought they were cute and since I could only take the one, I didn't get any of Michael talking to Santa. I'm pretty sure he told Santa he wanted a giant cookie cake like the one I had for my birthday. Or maybe Michael said that is what he is leaving out for Santa when he comes? The mysteries of a four year old's brain.
One thing is for sure is that we are so thankful Michael has been a very good boy this year!
p.s., how cool is it that it is the same Santa as last year?
Hi Rose, I think many of us struggle with the pressure of making a perfect holiday for our children, and many of us don't have the added stressor of grief added to the mix. I admire your persistence in making sure Michael has a magical holiday season even when you are struggling, that is one of the things that makes you such an amazing mom. I think Christmas has gotten a little bit more complicated lately, and I think you're right, you don't have to do elf on the shelf, complicated activities, etc., to make it wonderful. In fact, despite the fact that I get caught up in it, I really worry that it is taking away from the real meaning of Christmas, CHRIST. Michael will have wonderful memories of all the little things his mama did to make Christmas special for him, and I am positive that he will know that he is loved and cherished, which is the greatest gift we can give our children. I know that is a gift you and Scott give Michael every day. Like I said previously, my heart and prayers will continue to be with you this holiday season, thanks for sharing with us. -LH
ReplyDeleteYour picture is great! How much do they charge at VWM for the santa pictures?
ReplyDeleteRose - Unfortunately and fortunately a meltdown can lead to valuable insight and hopefully some gentleness towards yourself. I think it can allow us to fall into the vulnerability instead of resisting it. It is hard to not fall in line with past traditions or what the norm is for the holiday, but without even knowing what you are doing or not doing ... I truly believe it's enough. I wonder, too, that maybe you feel like you are falling short now, but that it doesn't mean that it will be ongoing. You are spot-on with Michael feeling the Story and magic of Christmas ... and you can be present and healthy for him to experience it : ) Lovely photos, as always. XOXO karin
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