It seems like everyone has been doing these lovely thanksgiving tributes on social media this November. I love reading them and I get it, I really do, but I am really struggling this Thanksgiving.
In some ways, I do think some things are getting easier but in other ways they are just getting harder. I am excited to celebrate with my family and I am happy that we can all be together but I just remember how last year I just wanted all the holidays to go away and well...I still kind of feel that way. Instead of excitement there is just dread that now I get to celebrate for the 2nd time with a huge hole in my heart. It really, really stinks.
I'm hosting my family this year at my home and I am really looking forward to it. The planning and preparation is giving me something to look forward to and I'm excited to cook my first big turkey. I do actually have two ovens in my home and (this is embarrassing) the only time we get them both cranking is for pizza night. :o)
I hope that Thanksgiving day can be a source of comfort and solace to my family as they enjoy my meal and home. I know that I am not the only one who looks around the table and sees someone missing so if this is you also....I get it. It never is the same but that is just life, I guess....no answers here or words of wisdom.
I wish you all a sense of peace and thanksgiving this week as we prepare for Thursday.
When I looked at your beautiful family pictures yesterday I wondered whether behind that lovely smile of yours there were some of the feelings you describe above. I'm sure you will always feel like a part of your family is missing, and I admire your efforts to appreciate what you still have despite the pain that is always present. Will be thinking of you and your entire family this holiday season. LH
ReplyDeleteI struggle with that missing boy at my table too. So much.
ReplyDeleteAnd the denial of the first holidays, I felt them too. I'm excited for Christmas this year to celebrate with Grace, but it still stinks there's only one kiddo to cuddle up to. :/ xox momma.