Saturday, May 19, 2012

Celebrating Trace's Birthday

My parents were in town the past two days and we spent some time doing special things to celebrate Trace's birthday. 

It is so hard to know what to do and I was feeling the pressure from everyone asking what we were doing. I could tell them what I would want to be doing...throwing a huge first birthday party for my little boy complete with a cake smash, balloons, and lots of friends and family.

We did have cake (angelfood), balloons, and a little birthday "party" at Trace's headstone with a little picnic at the nearby state park afterwards. I thought it was the perfect way to celebrate his little life.

I found this little book at Target and we read it to Trace at his site. I also bought one for a friend whose little angel's birthday is today. When I was checking out at Target the lady asked me if these were gifts and I said, "Yes...birthday gifts". There really isn't a big market for birthday gifts for little angels.

Michael had lots of fun helping me make Trace's cake. He loves to watch the mixer go round and round! 

I feel weird posting these pictures of us at the cemetery but I want to show everyone how beautiful it is out there. I have a love/hate relationship with the place because as much as I hate that I have to drive there to see my baby, I think it could not be in a more beautiful, peaceful place. He is buried in a children's garden and it is so sad to see all the babies but also so sweet to see all their little headstones decorated with flowers and gifts. 

 Trace's birthday was a really hard day for me. It was stressful and I felt a lot like I did right after we first lost Trace. I am not lying when I say that I feel a little sense of relief that today is a new day and his birthday is over. We love to celebrate his little life every day.



  1. I found the days leading up to my sons birthday terribly hard. It was like hitting "restart" on those early days of grief. I'm so sorry these days have been hard on you.

    Tracey's grave site is beautiful. The garden of children I heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking.

    Nancy Tilman has some excellent books. That one, nd "on the night you ere born" are my favorites.

  2. I am so so sorry. I had no idea that he had passed away. I took a break from blogging and when I came back you had two babies on your sidebar. I just read back over all those posts on Trace. I am so so sorry. I cannot even imagine. (I can partially relate- we finally got pregnant and I miscarried it a few weeks in. I can totally understand the overwhelming grief that just pops up unexpectedly. But to have met and cared for him is in a whole other realm. I am so sorry.)

  3. Rose, I can just imagine how much you could visualize how the day could have gone, but you celebrated his day beautifully!

  4. I am sure Trace's birthday was a tough day. As usual, I am amazed at your strength.

  5. I guess that's what they mean by beat until "stiff peaks" on the frosting! Love, Mom

  6. Your strength absolutely amazes me. I check in on your blog every so often and lately I've had a flood of emotions just thinking about you and your family. I know you probably don't recongnize your own strength but you are very strong...for getting out of bed each day, for caring for your toddler, for being productive AND sitting down to document it all-the good and the bad.


Related Posts with Thumbnails