Instafriday

Happy Friday!

Wow, I can't believe another week has gone by. It feels like every week is just a little bit out of my control- it makes me very worried for going back to school. I have been trying not to get stressed out about things lately, as I hate feeling like I always have something hanging over my head. I've been trying to write things down and look ahead to the week as a big chunk but I still miss things when I let my guard down. 

For example, a friend was coming to visit this week and I knew she was coming. However, on the actual day it totally slipped my mind (mostly because I think I forgot what the actual day of the week was) and she showed up with me unprepared- house messy, girls not fed, no coffee on, but luckily I had gotten dressed earlier. I was so embarrassed, so so embarrassed. I felt bad about it the rest of the day. It wasn't that my house was messy or any of that but that I had forgotten and she took time out of her day to come visit me and the girls and I couldn't even remember. To make matters worse, I "suddenly" came down with a stomach bug- I actually had to leave in the middle of the conversation to go throw up. I didn't even think to tell her ahead of time that I wasn't feeling well because I honestly did not even think anything was out of sorts. Like I must just feel like I have the flu all the time? Also so embarrassing. 

Looking back, I had felt achy and super tired the night before but...I always feel like that. Then that morning I had a terrible headache that wouldn't go away with coffee, water or ibuprofen but...that sometimes happens to me when I am super tired. Then I started getting sweaty and shaky and well, sometimes I feel like that also.  It was a big wake up call to me like...what am I doing to myself? How can I even function if I feel so terrible all the time I don't even know if I have the flu or not? All this makes me very nervous about returning to school- not the actual teaching part- but the part that involves looking, thinking, and acting like a normal human being again. 

So with a tear fueled call to Scott, he came home and watched the girls for the rest of day for me while I rested. I actually felt a lot better after taking a migraine pill so I am not sure if it was a migraine or a stomach bug (I don't usually get migraines). After a few days of sulking at how I am totally failing at life, I realize that with returning to work and the uncertainty it brings...I know I can do it. I have done hard things before. And not matter what, I have already had the worst day of my life so anything compared to that is not hard. Perspective can be a good thing. 

So anyway, I am glad this week is over. :o) I am hoping for improvement in the future! 

Now on to instafriday...

How handsome is Michael? I ordered this cute outfit from carters.com and he just looks so cute. It was a splurge to buy all the pieces since he really will only wear it a few times this winter but you got to do it!! He is growing so fast that even a larger holiday sweater won't fit him next year.

Also, how cute are these onesies? They both say "best sister ever". However, the first day they wore these Anna had a huge blowout and had to change shortly after this photo. So she was no longer the best sister-kidding! 

My sister and her friend were so nice to come and watch the girls while I could finish up some last minute Christmas errands last week. Denise has been coming down almost every week to help out and it has really meant a lot to me. The semester flew by and it won't be the same next semester when I am back in school full time and her schedule is different. Sometimes the best gift you can give someone is your time! 

Anyway, we had a string of beautiful weather and I could run around without a coat. It was a real treat just to be able to run into a bunch of stores without hauling children along! 

I've been trying to slowly prepare my items for returning to work and to pumping. I've never had to pump before while working 40+ hours a week so it will be a new adventure. I try and remind myself of the positives- I have my own private office I can pump in, I can adjust my schedule to make time for it, I even have my own mini fridge in the band room. However, I only worked 10 hours a week when I went back with Michael and only pumped once a day. When I went back after Trace, I was also working 10 hours a week and just waited until I got home to feed him because I didn't want to deal with it. I know I can keep feeding the girls in the morning and at night and if they need some formula to supplement, that is okay too. They will be almost four months old when I return and that is a pretty good run of being exclusively breast fed! 

Our little sunroom has gotten very crowded lately with the tree and Christmas stuff PLUS the baby stuff. I am converting this room to a full out baby playroom after I take down the tree so they have a good, safe place to play when they are home with their nanny. I can't wait to share! 

Being a busy elf!

My friend Jessica made these shirts and I finally put them on the girls. They are so sweet and I thought the girls looked especially cute that day! 

Baby selfie! Anna's not amused. :o) 

Michael had his Christmas program at church this past Sunday and it happened to be when mom was here also so she got to see it. The little kids just sang two songs at the beginning of the service but it still melted my heart. I was so proud of my little guy! 

My mom gave me an early Christmas present of a new ceramic mug and coffee! I love it!

I think the girls had a little growth spurt this week as they were both very sleepy and would fall asleep right in my arms- not something they usually do. They are so sweet and getting so chubby and squishy! 

Michael celebrate Christmas at his school with a party yesterday and I sent along these easy, candy-free treats. I always try and pick something that is not junky or is excessive- like one treat instead of a whole treat bag filled with candy. I thought they looked cute in the little bags. 

 Is anyone else really starting to get down by these short days? I know I am feeling it. Combined with the fact it has been overcast the last few days it feels like it never gets light out at all. The above photo was taken yesterday before four and this morning I swear it was still dark at eight in the morning. I will be glad when the days start getting longer again.  (So will Michael- he keeps asking me if the days are still getting shorter and I don't he understands that means it is getting darker sooner...I think he just thinks I'm picking him up later and later from daycare!) 

Well that's it for me! Next week at this time, Christmas will be all wrapped up and we will be staring the new year right in the face. Have a great weekend! Happy Friday!