We celebrated Trace's birthday last weekend. My mom came for a short visit so she could visit the cemetery and spend time with all her grandbabies. It was nice that she could spend some time with my family while I was busy with an all morning rehearsal for my final Central Iowa Wind Ensemble concert of the season. It was a busy weekend and I was thankful for that- it certainly eliminates me sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I am always thankful for the amazing gift I was given to create music with others....you would think by now I would totally be sick of music but it always challenges and surprises me. A little part of me dies inside when students (or their parents-they are sure influential) quit band because it is too hard or too much of a commitment. You reap the rewards of hard work for a lifetime and I think that is not something people really understand these days.
Anyway, rant over. :o)
Trace's actual birthday was on a nice, cool Tuesday. I took the afternoon off work to take Michael to his 6 year old well child visit (slightly late...I had called to double check on a lead test the school nurse said he needed and that we found out he had done as a one year old but they also told me I hadn't been in for his 6 year old-gah!). Since I had to take a half day, we also made a stop at the cemetery for a picnic lunch with Scott. It was nice just to sit by his headstone and enjoy the beautiful plantings and trees around. Usually we picnic at the park nearby and I enjoyed doing it at the cemetery- maybe it will become a new tradition. We also did a balloon release (to send to Trace in heaven) and left some super cool balloons at his headstone that I am sure any five year old boy would like. Michael asked, "are we having a super hero birthday for Trace?" when he saw the balloons I picked out. Of course we were! He has been so thoughtful lately about Trace and I know he is trying to wrap his head and heart around it as he gains knowledge about the world around him.
I am also doubling up on Mother's day in this post since for me Trace's birthday and Mother's day seem to go hand in hand. We actually had a very nice Mother's day. I went to church with Michael and the message was so, so special and quite a tear jerker. It was just what I needed. I am so thankful for all four of my babies!
It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and getting stressed out about laundry, keeping the toys picked up, and getting dinner on the table. All these things have become exponentially hard for me now since the girls are at the age they are at. I am thankful for motherhood and the duty I have to provide a safe and happy home for my family. I have to remind myself there are plenty of hours in the day and I think I am finally getting used to getting less sleep every night (and the reality that I will never ever be caught up).
Scott took me out to dinner and to see Book of Mormon downtown for Mother's day. It was really nice and unexpected! He even arranged the babysitter! It was a nice treat!
The days are ticking down to summer and I need to get my head and heart in the right place to make it a great summer. Michael is so excited and think that summer is going to last for "three years!". I remember so fondly those childhood memories where summer really did seem to stretch on forever and now as an adult it is gone in the blink of an eye. I am working on my summer fun list and hopefully we will be visiting our favorites and trying some new things and I promise to share them all with you! Enjoy the rest of May!
The photo of you and your four babies makes my heart smile and weep - you are a beautiful mama and give so much love! I'm glad to hear you are finding some ways to connect, rest and heal through difficult times. I hope your summer feels 3 years long (in a good way -- ha!). Take care of yourself and I look forward to summer vacation posts : )
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