Thursday, May 14, 2015

8 months, mother's day, Trace's birthday

In my last post, I was talking about how I was wishing April away, and sure we are again, with May halfway over! It's been a busy first half of the month with my concert at school, my sister's graduation and Mother's day. We only have about a week and change of school left and I am ready for summer! 

Our trees were really pretty this spring and it seemed like the blooms stuck around for a good solid week. Our pink one bloomed first and then our white one and it just so happened to be nice out one night so I ran the girls out quick for a photo shoot. It is so stressful at home after work but I'm glad I did this...they will only be babies while the trees are blooming once. I love when they bloom...they are such good reminders of Trace's birthday which is on May 17th. I love how spring brings beauty, freshness, and new life to the earth. It always reminds me of the anticipation of Trace's arrival and his birth which we were so excited for. I'm happy his birthday is in the spring but of course, it is a bittersweet sort of happiness as we just wish he was still here with us celebrating. 

Trace's death has a new meaning now that the girls are here. Anna and Brynn are such good reminders of God's grace and we are so blessed to have them. We love them so much but we know that we are on a different path of our life now and we don't know for sure that if Trace was here they would still have come along. I guess that is just part of the mystery of life. I think of Trace every day and feel so sad that Trace never got to the age the girls are now...all the fun things they are doing he never got to do but we hope with all our hearts he gets to do them in heaven. 

Now that I've made you all sad...

The girls are 8 months old! 

So many new things have been happening this month. They are eating food much better and love to eat puffs and yogurt melts. They are getting better about not being so messy while eating baby food. They have started to try to drink out of a sippy cup. 

They love sitting up and have figured out how to get themselves from sitting back to crawling around on the floor- their favorite! We've had to gate in our sunroom so they have a safe place to play...otherwise they were getting all over the house and they are fast and sneaky! Both girls are still scooting on their tummy but are both getting up on the knees and rocking back and forth. They haven't quite figured out how to crawl on their knees that way! Anna also loves to do "baby planks" and will push up on her hands and tippy toes with her butt in the air. She'll try to move her feet because I think she knows she needs to use them to get walking but can't quite figure that out either. Brynn loves to stand with us holding her hands and looks like such a peanut. When she stands she loves to smile big at Michael because she knows exactly who she is going to be tagging along with when she starts walking! 

The girls are such good sleepers and have been sleeping from 6:30-5:30 every night, without a peep. They are always so cozy in their beds...I just wish I could watch them sleep all night long. They have a special little fuzzy bunny that they always cuddle with or use as a pillow tucked under their cheek. How do they figure that stuff out? We are still working on finding more consistent naps but I'm hoping that will happen when we are all home together for the summer. Right now they are taking three short naps throughout the day but I would like to stretch that to one shorter nap and one longer nap. We'll see! I enjoy the sleep at night so I am definitely not complaining. The extra hours at night give us some time to spend with Michael, exercise, or get a little work around the house done and have been doing wonders for my mental health! 

Anna and Brynn are so happy and are always ready with a big smile. Anna still seems to be more laid back while Brynn is always ready for adventure. Anna will seem more content while Brynn will get upset more quickly and be harder to get to sleep. I'm not sure if these traits will play out in the future or if I am just making it up but that is what I see! 

We love them so much! 

They are growing so fast and I am in denial by the time summer is over we will be quickly approaching the big ONE!!! 

And finally, happy Mother's Day to all my favorite mothers out there. I made this little collage and I really love it (you can celebrate yourself on mother's day, right?). I never ever thought I would be so blessed to have four babies in my life. The time they are tiny is so fleeting I am glad I have a few photos of myself with them. Long live blonde hair and black sweaters! :o) 


  1. i like to hear about your thoughts on loss, new paths and God's grace. you have a lot of powerful insight and i appreciate your openness. glad you had a flower-filled, family-filled Mother's Day!

  2. You are such a lovely mother and so gorgeous, too. Love the photos of you with your babies.

    What you wrote about your life being on a different trajectory… I SO get that. It's so hard to think of these boys we are missing and not wish for them back, even though their resulting sisters may/maynot have been here if they had lived.

    It's so hard. Thinking of you, happy third birthday Trace! <3 <3 <3


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